Dependence and Addictions
The concept of dependence or addiction refers to any object, person, experience, or idea for which we feel that without it we cannot experience satisfaction. Conversely, its absence becomes a source of intense discomfort for us. In this sense, addictions cause us pain.
According to Ken Keyes, there are three basic categories of addictions, which are related to three fundamental human needs:
- the need for security
- the need for pleasure and control
- the need for recognition of worth
Very often, we endure significant hardship and suffering because we refuse to give up whatever sense of security we believe we have.
Many people resort to addictive behaviors, such as smoking, the use of substances, alcohol, sedatives, and other medications, in order to alleviate the feeling of dissatisfaction. However, the result achieved is only temporary.
It is important to understand that the inner calm and serenity we hope to experience cannot be achieved through controlling external conditions, because such control is and will always be beyond our limited capacities. In other words, anything we seek for relief that does not depend on ourselves cannot provide lasting and stable security, pleasure, or recognition.
Forms of Addiction
There are many objects and behaviors one may turn to in order to bring about the desired change in mood. Some of the most common are:
• Someone may turn to the use of drugs to experience pleasure, bypassing contact with others.
• Someone may engage in excessive alcohol consumption to ease their low mood.
• Overeating or starvation are attempts at changing one’s emotional state for individuals suffering from eating disorders.
• Gambling and betting create a stimulation that the individual seeks to repeat more and more.
• A person addicted to internet browsing, video games, etc., spends a large portion of their day in this activity, to the point of disappearing into the screen.
• A person addicted to sex engages in compulsive consumption of pornographic material.
• Systematic or even obsessive “shopping therapy” is a form of escape, allowing the individual to feel more “fulfilled”, seeking happiness in overconsumption.
A common denominator in all these experiences is an attempt to bypass or ignore the Other, along with the pursuit of excessive pleasure, which at best leads to isolation, and at worst puts one’s very biological existence at risk. The individual gradually reaches a dead end, as the pleasure they pursue deprives them of their social connectedness and ultimately turns against their own life.
The critical issue in addictions is that their cost is disproportionately high compared to what they actually offer the individual.
The challenge in psychotherapy for addressing addictions is to recognize destructive and painful habits, to assign meaning to the symptom that causes them, and ultimately for the individual to transform their relationship with pleasure, redirecting their desire toward the Other and gradually rendering the addiction unnecessary.